Friday, 23 May 2008

a day of mixed emotions

yesterday was a mix of emotions. at lunch time i headed off to macquarie park to attend renee's funeral. it was so tragically sad. dallas and mel met me out the front cause i didn't think i would be able to do it. it was held in the same chapel as dad's. but i did it.... it was extremely hard and difficult for me but i had to distant myself and realise that i wasn't there for myself i was there to support my friend who had lost her younger sister.
watching b, her mum and renee's 3 beautiful children was awful. my heart just went out to them all and i just wanted to give them a big hug. renee's partner got up and spoke, which must have been extremely hard for him, but renee would have been so proud, he loved her so much. and the song they played made everyone break down and cry.
i'm so glad i was there...... and to be a part in renee's life even if it was only a small part.

i came home to pick up the kids from school, no teachers strike for private schools! and i gave them an extra big hug.
shanice has been going thru a rough time with her friends at the moment and she didn't get picked to perform in a mixed school choir as they gave preference to year 6 kids. my heart broke again for the second time yesterday as i couldn't take away her pain and dissapointment. i tried to explain as best i could that as a child there will be times when you dont get picked either to perform as a group in a teamsport. i told her that it happen to all kids and it happened to mummy and daddy and it made us really really sad at the time, but it will be ok.
still it hurts. and for 2 days now she's been so sad.

we headed off to connors swimming lesson at 3.45 as we do on thursdays now. 2 days a week we go swimming and i think the kid love. i like the quiet time when i can read a book, something i haven't done in such a long time and i'm really loving it.

pat and michael came over to baby sit for us last night so anthony and i could go and see this.....

i'm such an indi freak, lol. helloooooo didn't i name my dog indiana jones?
it was fan-bloody-tastic. it was corny in bits but really tongue in cheek and i loved every minute of it.
but before we went and got our tickets we had to stop in at wicked ink to book in for my new tattoo. mum and mandy if you reading this, do not go any further or don't yell at me!
i wanted to extend my "om" tattoo on my ankle, but because i got that because it's dads tatt and it's on the same leg, same side of the right leg etc i came to conclusion that extending it would take away from it being "dad's". i really want the complete mantra as i really identify with all the symbols. sooooooo i am booked in for next thursday at 12.30pm to get.......
down my left arm, from the inner elbow to the inner wrist. it's a huge thing to get a tatt that's going to be so visible, but it's what i want and it's my body and my artist expression.
oh, sam is going to going to girlify it for me so it's not to chunky and is tasteful and pretty.
i'm so excited!!!!!!
the meanings, incase anyone out there wants to know.....
Reading from left to right the syllables are:
Om (ohm)
Ma (mah)
Ni (nee)
Pad (pahd)
Me (may)
Hum (hum)

Om purifies bliss and pride (realm of the gods)
Ma purifies jealousy and need for entertainment (realm of the jealous gods)
Ni purifies passion and desire (human realm)
Pad purifies ignorance and prejudice (animal realm)
Me purifies poverty and possessiveness (realm of the hungry ghosts)
Hum purifies aggression and hatred (hell realm)

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